


I Want to Feel You From The Inside

by YouLookGoodInLeather



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Angry Sex, F/M, Hate Sex, Illyrian!Nesta, Masturbation, fuck toy!Cassian
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-20 18:13:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10668087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YouLookGoodInLeather/pseuds/YouLookGoodInLeather
Summary: Nesta has always needed her alone time. However, a particularly infuriating Illyrian seems to have a habit of interrupting her. Being the efficent genius that she is, Nesta soon puts this to good use.





	I Want to Feel You From The Inside

 

Nesta watches the clock, counting out thirty minutes. Thirty minutes since the others all left to go dancing at Rita’s. Thirty minutes since she was left in the House of Wind all alone. **  
**

_Finally_. Finally, she is alone.

It’s all been very nice and touching and all that, having both her sisters safe with her, slowly getting to know Feyre’s new found family and adjusting to her own body, but she has not had a moment to herself since she was dunked in that cursed cauldron. Even when she was human, she has always needed time to herself, to think, to process, to… meet certain physical needs. And now that she is trapped in the form of an Illyrian, a species ruled by hormones and instinct and _desire_ , that alone time of hers has become all the more essential

At the thirty minutes mark, she concludes to herself that she is safe, and that she has the entire house to herself. The ritual can begin.

Striding out to the balcony, she shrugs off her white silk dressing gown, leaving her in a waifish slip of a nightgown, the straps of which she slides from her shoulders. It too drops to the floor, pooling on the floor between the doors, wedging them ajar. Inhaling the cool night air, she strokes her bare palms across the icy white marble of the railing and looks out at the stars, grinning a little.

It’s okay to be open here, in no one’s but her own company. Out there, high above Velaris, with only the stars for a ceiling, she feels as if she owns the night. It is enough to have her hot between the thighs already.

With a sharp tug of her hand, she frees her hair from it’s trappings and shakes it out, letting the cool night breeze whip it across her face. A thought strikes her. She shouldn’t… she’s set up everything inside, drawn herself a nice warm bath to relax in first and get herself going, and yet… and yet up here, standing naked and exposed before all of Velaris, she can’t help getting a filthy kind of voyeuristic kick out of the idea of fucking herself breathless out here. The idea that someone, however impossible it would be, might see her…

Fuck it. She’s already mastered control of fire; She can reheat the bath later. First, she needs to take care of that warm wetness growing wetter by the second. Crossing to the dressing gown she left behind, she retrieves her _favourite_ toy, salvaged from their old human house, and returns outside with it cradled in her hand. Even now, with her inhuman strength, it feels as strong and powerful as ever.

A dildo crafted from diamond was one of the few excesses she’d outstripped even Elain with. Whilst her younger sister had spent half their new fortune on dresses and bonnets and ribbons and spices, Nesta had fallen out of love with such trivial displays of wealth. She’d wanted something private, something so truly indulgent and twisted that it would serve as a permanent reminder of how strange their relationship with fortune had truly been.

Thus, she had had a private source craft the dildo, and bribed them handsomely to keep them quiet. Not that it matters now. She’s not a part of that human realm anymore. But she still has the phallus, strong and smooth and _cold_. Just looking at it excites her.

Rushing from anticipation, she runs and swings herself up onto the balcony, swivelling so that her legs face the door, her back to the city below. She splays her legs, gets a good hold of the dildo, and closes her eyes, smiling in satisfaction. Finally. Oh, this is going to be good.

One hand hooked over the edge of the balcony, she uses the over to carefully slot the diamond into her vagina, shivering at both the cold and the contrast with the heat inside her. “Fuck,” she whispers with a breathy laugh, feeling really quite daring, yet eager to push it further. Holding on tight, she leans back over the balcony. Her wings twitch in anticipation to catch her if she falls. With a great deal of concentration, she overrides her body’s protective instincts and tucks them in tight against her back, even as she leans back further and further, till she is on the very tipping point of falling.

Adrenaline floods her veins, and she hasn’t even started moving the cock inside of her. Biting down on her lower lip, hard enough to draw blood, she carefully eases it in, her breathing rapid and shallow as she braces herself for the fall. But her balance holds. She gets the dick halfway in, then slides it out again, in, out, in, out.

The edges of the diamond are sculpted with little ridges, not sharp enough to injure her but sharp enough to hurt - really hurt. She loves it. The sharp twinges echoing from her groin through her entire body, spiking up her back so that she winces through a groan. It feel so good. So fucking hot out here in the freezing cold. And she holds on, keeping herself from falling.

It’s easy to get a little cocky. Rocking her hips as best as she can sitting down, she starts fucking herself with the cock faster, harder, penetrating deeper and deeper. She knows her body well - she has done this many times before - and so she knows just the right angle to hit just the right spot and-

- _O_ h. _Oh._ The diamond ridges collide against that sweet, sweet spot inside her and like an addict she hits it again and again and again, crying out as it sends throbbing waves of pleasure through her body. The muscles she has tense to hold herself in balance shake, trembling, threatening to let her fall. It is all she can do to keep herself seated, overwhelmed by the icy cold of the night air, the friction of the cock, the pulsating fire of her g-spot. Fuck. Fuck. _F-_

“Fuck!” She screams, and this time it is not from ecstasy, but from terror. Right as she shudders through a second orgasm her fingers spasm unconsciously and unhook from over the railing. For a moment she is weightless. All too soon, however, gravity kicks in, and she is falling, back into the night abyss. Her wings are locked, unable to unfurl as she falls back against them, the airflow pinning them to her.

She is going to die. She is going to die with a diamond cock shoved up her cunt. Fucking fuck the Cauldron and it’s sick idea of fate.

Except she doesn’t. Before she can die a horribly embarrassing death, a hand catches hers and pulls her back. It doesn’t just pull her back, it heaves her over the railing and throws her onto the safety of the balcony floor.

So. Now she has been saved from certain death with a diamond cock shoved up her cunt, and thus has to live to face the humiliation. The next time she encounters the cauldron, she is going to break that fucker in half, all-powerful sacred object or not.

“Cassian?” She hisses, crawling to her knees and looking through her tangled hair to see that bastard. He too is collapsed on the floor from where he hauled her ass to safety, but he looks up and has the nerve to grin at her. He is not shy about the way his eyes rove her body, although he has the decency to soon avert them.

“Nesta,” he answers calmly. “That headache you claimed to have cleared up quickly then.”

“You-” Nesta begins, before she begins to process things a little further. “You saw… Cassian. What are you doing here?”

“Feyre was worried about you,” he answers, standing, brushing himself off, and giving a casual shrug. “She sent me back to play nursemaid. Although clearly, you were quite capable of tending to your own needs.” The wolfish grin he gives her tells her all she needs to know. He saw _everything_.

“At what point did you find me?” She asks flatly, in no mood to play games. She remains seated, pulling her knees up to her chest to conceal her naked body. Not that she is ashamed - she has always known she is beautiful - but she was raised to keep the commodity of her body to herself. And besides, Cassian is the last person on earth she wants to see her so vulnerable. Thus, her rage subsides a notch when he tosses her her nightgown.

“Right about when you shoved that thing up your ass.” He looks over at her once the nightgown is over her head, hanging low over her thighs. “What the hell is it? Is it made of glass? What if it shatters? Won’t you-”

“Cassian,” Nesta says. The murderous intent lacing every note of her voice is enough to wipe that shit-eating smirk clean off of his face. “If you ever speak of this again, to me, or anyone else, I will slice your wings from your body, and then shove them up _your_ ass. Are we clear?”

He swallows, opens his mouth to protest, and is silence by a stony glare. He nods. “Crystal,” he says, and for a moment she goes to hit him, thinking he’s talking about the cock, before she realises his meaning. Subduing, she nods back.

“Please turn around.”

“Wh-”

“Turn around.”

He obeys, and with all the grace she can muster, she pries the diamond from within her, forcing herself not to whimper as the rough edges scrape through over her now rather tight pussy. And yet part of her is still far too turned on, the idea of someone really watching - even Cassian - kindling a dark sort of satisfaction in the pit of her stomach.

“You can leave now,” she tells him.Though she has her gaze averted to Velaris, she can sense him lingering in the door, looking back at her. “Now.”

“Yes ma’am,” he answers with far too much sass for her liking. “But I just want you to know one thing.” Maybe it’s her new Illyrian body being magical, but she can literally feel his eyes run up the length of her physique, a shiver mapping the track of his gaze. “If you ever want something with body heat to replace that unfeeling toy of yours, you know where I am.”

“Whereever you’re not wanted, apparently,” she snips back with a scowl.

“And yet I still find ways to come in use.” He beams at her, ignoring the venom in her tone. “Goodnight, Nesta. I’ll be in my room if you want me.”

As if that was going to happen. Huffing, she crosses her arms firmly over her chest and glowers after him for far too long, until she is shivering violently from the cold. Stalking inside, she makes way to have that bath. Stupid, nosy bastard. And it means nothing when he is all she thinks of in the bath.


End file.
